Sorry folks, I have been really busy and it is going to get a lot worse real fast. I apologize in advance, but unless you want to hear about electron beams or linac calibrations, I probably will not be posting very much over the next month. I wasn't even planning on posting tonight, but hearing some sad biathlon news from around the world I figured I would at least type out a few quick thoughts from my head. And yes the time is 02:30.
Last Friday I had a follow-up with my cardiologist regarding an irregular heart beat I have been experiencing. I have passed every single test with flying colors so far. I still occasionally feel the irregularities, but have been told by several physicians that they are totally benign. I can either do nothing, or take a drug. Since I do not know how bad my allergies and asthma will be this spring, I chose not to take the beta-blockers. However the cardiologist has not given me the green light to train with no limits and even cast a doubt on doing an Ironman period. He ordered a 30 day heart monitor (argh) and would like to test me for a genetic syndrome called Brugada Syndrome. The last couple of days, I have had many thoughts swirl in my head from fear, to frustration, to damn-it-I-am-so-going-to-whoop-that-IM course determination.
Saturday, thanks to BuckeyeRunner, I was feeling rebellious and cranked out a 5 mile swim and 9 mile run. That was the best I have felt all year. My brain has yet to decide what I should think and how, or if, I should go ahead with my training. I have told my coach that I would like to continue, but without doing any high intensity workouts. Right now I know I can not give up this Ironman quest. Wil wrote something a few weeks ago that really hit the nail on the head for me:
"I mean, if I don’t show up one day, what’s the worst that can happen? If I don’t show up period, what’s the worst that can happen? I mean, I’d just lose my focus, abandon a goal, stop changing my life, let it settle, stagnate, fall into a rut, get fat, depressed, buy a bunch of copies of Vogue and Cosmo and In Style, watch the Olympics and dream of living driven …watch it all float away…yeah… not like my life depends on this ride every morning... nah"
This is who we are: we work, we train, we live, we love. I KNOW I am not ready to start reading Cosmo...