Thursday, August 31, 2006

Failure, Fear, and Expectations



I remember when Iron Wil wrote this: "But with never failing, comes never growing, and a false sense of immortality that sets you up for disaster the moment you enter into a realm of things that are beyond your control."

I used to be afraid of failure. I was scared of the unknown consequences that would come if the outcome was not what I expected. But I didn't always meet my goals. Sometimes I stumbled. And maybe that happened more often than I like to admit. But what I am learning along the way is that I can manage my expectations to control my fear.

So even though I stated my IM "A" goal time to everyone in the free world, I am not afraid of missing that mark. I think it was better this way. I am usually harder on myself than everyone else. As opposed to my own dark secret, 11:43 has become an inside joke with the some of the people I train with. So if I finish with an 11:45 or even 16:45, what are the consequences? I'll just have to endure a little more good natured ribbing.

It's been mentioned by some folks here and herethat Ironman is a totally different animal. You can only do so much with that beast. While I have my "A" standard I have my B and C standards too. That is how I manage my expectations. After all I really don't know what to expect on race day. And even if you cross the line 5 minutes from midnight they will still call out your name and say you are an Ironman,


Some fear and doubt may creep into my head before September 10th, but on that day I'll give it all I've got. There is one thing I do know I am not afraid of: I am not afraid of giving my best.

8 comments:

E-Speed said...

Lot of mental prep going on at this blog. I truly believe you will do great, even if it takes you 17 hours. You will give it everything you've got. Just make sure you are back on teh track the following Tuesday, we've moved to Bedford ;)

Eric said...

The old IM gorilla. Don't take that crap from him. You will show him who is boss.

Triteacher said...

Hey, Polar Opposite, it's me. :) You're making me think, reflect... I'm playing it safe because my marathon debacle was too strong a lesson for me to ignore. I also appreciate the joy of feeling like you're on fire, blazing through a race, AND I do have an "A" goal time for IM. (It'll stay my secret for now though.) Who knows, if I have a good day, I could accomplish both my dream time and stay at my target heart rates. Best wishes to you- and hopes that you won't have to endure any ribbing, but rather can crow on September 11th.

RunBubbaRun said...

Hey I think that monkey is giving me the finger :)

Even if you are 1 second from midnight you will still be an IRONMAN. And that is what matters after you 1st IM.

I know you will do great.

xt4 said...

Hey man - whatever happens out there, in whatever time, I think you have the right attitude when you say you'll just give it your best. That's all you can do. All any of us can do. It's what makes men made of Iron.

I hope you accomplish and achieve everything you're looking for on raceday, whatever it is. I hope you have the race of your life.

Mike said...

That's what it's all about- staying focused and giving it your best throughout the day...if you do that, you gotta be satisfied crossing that line, regardless of the outcome.

I read about your heart probs in your last post- I can relate there...I had a scare myself with the palpitations / ER visit during my race taper...not the greatest thing to deal with a couple weeks out! Definitely sending some positive vibes your way on 9/10!

Papa Louie said...

Very well said! And not to be afraid of giving your best is something to remember during the race to help carry you through the tough miles.

Chris said...

Well said! You've had a pretty trying summer with all your heart ailments. There is only so much that can be done!

You know what you're capable of by now from training. Just go out there and enjoy the day! They give out the same medal to the first finisher as they do to the last!